People are easily bored. We tune out of conversations when our mind wanders. Every once in a while, however, we hear a story and we pay attention. We pay attention to stories that we relate to.
Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden had an emotional moment on Friday’s episode of The View one day after he announced that he’s entering the race. Biden was asked if he’s running because of his late son, Beau, who died of brain cancer in 2015.
“No, he’s not why I’m running,” Biden responded. Then, Biden paused. He choked up and said,“When I get up in the morning—I think about— I hope he’s proud of me. I hope he’s proud.”
Biden wiped a tear from his eye and continued.
“A lot of people have lost somebody. They’re still with you. They’re in you. They’re there.” Biden was referring to a discussion a few minutes earlier about the deaths of his wife and daughter in a car accident in 1972.
In that moment, Biden became relatable.
Leaders who shed a tear from time to time are more likely to make emotional connections with their audiences. The stories that trigger those tears make them relatable on a deeper human dimension.
Some leaders are reluctant to show emotion. They think it makes them look weak. I think it shows the opposite. It shows strength, passion, courage, and commitment.
“Emotions at work can help you understand how others truly feel — that’s a good thing,” Red Hat CEO, Jim Whitehurst, once said. “You might see tears from time to time, but I think that signals that the person cares about what is happening.”
I’ve been in several private conversations with CEOs and business leaders who break down into tears. Once they do, I know we’ve found the theme of their next presentation and the stories they’ll share. Stories that trigger tears are, by definition, emotional. If they’re connected to the business, they’re probably worth sharing even if it means the leader might shed a tear in public.
Here’s one example.
A top executive at one of the world’s largest companies (an energy firm) was preparing for an annual all-hands presentation for thousands of employees. His draft was full of sales charts and financial projections.
“There’s no emotion here,” I told him. “You said you wanted to inspire your employees. You can’t inspire without making an emotional connection with them. Right now, you’re just informing them,” I continued.
“How do I show emotion?” he asked.
“Tell them a story.”
“About what?”
“Let’s start with what has kept you at this company for more than twenty years.”
And with that simple prompt, the executive told me a story that brought tears to his eyes. He could barely get through it. He said:
There are hundreds of millions of people around the world who have no electricity. I’ve been in villages when the lights go on for the first time. You should see the looks on the kids’ faces. It’s something I’ll never forget. Suddenly, they can use phones, study at night, and connect to the rest of the world. They’re healthier, happier. You know why I want to be in those places in person? It sticks with me. It gives my work meaning.
I could tell the executive was uncomfortable to show emotion publicly or to even tell personal stories. We made a compromise. I let him start his company presentation with the year in data as long as concluded with the story.
“Deal,” he said.
The executive gave his presentation and ended with the story which he accompanied with photographs of smiling children and families. The audience stood up in applause. Some had tears in their eyes. Others who had known the executive for years said they were more inspired than ever. He had become relatable.
Financial forecasts inform; personal stories inspire. Find the stories that touch you emotionally and you’ll find the words that will make you relatable.